zombie outbreak

DREAM #3
Sort of.

Last night before going to bed ry and i were talking about dreams because I had remembered my from the night before (of course now i can't remember) but then we started talking about what reoccuring dreams we have.
i have dreams about san antonio and partying at the river walk. :D But it's so much different in my dreams. I usually stay at the Hilton and I have to take the elevator up to the highest floor where I run around looking for my room. Then just run around the hotel :D like kids. (it's me and ry). I also have dreams about eating but never eating. I have reoccurring dreams that I am a bad ass zombie killer like Alice from resident evil.

oh yeah i remembered my dream. I was driving around san antonio and driving really fast. I went to HEB and went shopping. They had lots of clothes too like  a store in the mall. It seemed sooo amazing for some reason.hmm

JuJu

Note from the Blogger: This blog isn't coming out the way I wanted. "And how was that"?? IDK But lets just make this PART ONE of the JUJU STORIES because there is so much more to tell, and it's taking too long to figure that out. So I'll just publish this part already for ya. :D <3 Jolie Moon

Math Class, It started in Math class:
TJHS, my high school. I was accepted into the "magnet" program for theater arts.. sort of. I was never official but they did tell me I was in it, anyhow the real reason I was able to go to Jeff instead of Lanier was because my dad worked there as a custodian and so yes, I was in. At first I wasn't too happy because I knew I'd lose all my friends from Middle school and my first real boyfriend. But even on the first day I knew it was going to be an experience. I met JuJu that day, as she sat next to me in my Math class.
about JuJu
The whole thing is a blur to me, and as I sit and think about it here's the imagery that comes to mind. Morning. We are sitting immediately by the door in the front row first two seats. Teacher has his "wa wa wa" voice going on and time has slowed down dramatically. Then there is this girl sitting next to me- JuJu, and she is very very very school girl. I'm talking head to toe your personified bookworm. Still stuck in middle school. not even in the awkward teenage attire, just uniform. And she's talking to me. I don't understand a word she says. Its all blurry. I am just fighting the time to get the heck out of this class.
Some how I find myself in her quincenera party as a 'court member' or whatever i was with my brother as my partner.  So yeah, there's rehearsals and suddenly I'm meeting her entire family and getting to know her. She's ... different outside of school. She's funny, and has a bit of the "dark side" in her. I like her. We become friends. *slow and late but a real friendship is there and I'm lucky to have found it.
But it's crazy seeing the transformation as school begins and she goes into her dork mode. Who is this girl again?? Then there's me. odd girl. I was odd as a teen. ODD. O.D.D. (sorry i like that word odd) so anyway, JuJu doesn't judge me for all the effed up things I do. She's kind. Even her parents dont judge me for the black clothes and odd things.
Years go by and she's still there until one summer where we just sort of starting hanging around with different people.  It just didn't feel right. I don't know what was going on with then.  It didn't even seem to bother JuJu when I started hanging out with J and she with k.  Well, until JuJu and I weren't friends anymore.
THE FIGHT
LOL i can't actually really remember fighting with her but we stopped really being friends for real.
It seemed like a silly thing but J (a friend I was with all the time now) didnt like JuJu. I think she was jealous of her because of Juju's closeness of me.  We all had History class together and J would just look so pissed off if I talked to JuJu.  Finally when I with going around with Ry- JuJu didn't like it.  She wanted me to go over to her casa for dinner I said no because JuJu didn't want to meet Ry.  She told me later she though Ry would be like J and well, he was the opposite.  That just pissed me off and I hated JuJu for not letting Ry in.  Time passed and it was awkward.
Then there was LOOPS, juju's boyfriend which made everything dramatic.  Not at first.  We had a few years of just he and I being friends, joking around in Economics class and then talking after class in the hallways, ignoring Juju (sort of) but not really. We just had a weird relationship at that point where it was like we were frienemies but not.  But Loops. Well, he made drama happen when he decided to take a break from JuJu. And me? I was pissed because I didn't want to see her hurt.

But that's another Blog on it's own.---- till then

Delete

Okay, so I'm going to start this new(ish) and delete some of my previous blogs because I think maybe it shouldn't be available online like that to just anyone. I may start it up again another time.  But right now I'll keep it to myself. I said that already? Ah! oh well.

RollerCoaster Ride continues

day 5-  first off.  i maintained the 150! YAY so i guess the weekend junk food didnt stick and i'm soo happy. I wasn't able to go jogging last night, but I did walk to the park and run today.
I really hope my new diet pills come in today.

noon: quick update! I read "real customer reviews" from some website and there are hundreds of comments. virtually ALL of them are negative reviews of this product!! side effects seem really bad. I mean if it was just "it didn't work" that'd be fine but people seem to be getting sick!!!!! wtf? I dunno if I should still try it for myself and a "lucky" one?

RollerCoaster Ride

Diet day 4


So this morning I was happy to report 150.  But After a day of FUN aka lazying about (WELL< NOT all true I did go running in the morning) Then just played video games and we ate Burgers and drank shakes.  But anyway Its a roller coaster UP to 152. BEGINNING WEIGHT!!  I think I'll do some crunches in a bit, maybe go for another run tonight 7pmish.
I think tomorrow I get my NEW PILLS and will start those! I hope they don't freak me out as they are for energy too, and can be a bit strong for some people.

YTD: No report thanks. unless you just count the morning report in which case I've lost 2-3lbs in 4 days.

dream #2

NOTE: this had been moved from "pages"  date written was for aug 13
 
last night: went to bed 11pm ish? IDK  I will tell you that from about 4:30AM- 5 or 6AM Lily woke up and COULDN"T GO BACK TO BED!!!!! IDK what that was about.  It's never happened before that badly. Please no repeats tonight!!

Anyway, I dreamt that I was at a indoor jungle gym, but a gigantic sized one for adults.  And lots of people that I didn't like where there! :(  I was trying to find Ry and kept getting pulled into traps by "enemies".

That's pretty much it in a nutshell. I dont care to reveal anymore or who was in it exactly.


I'm going to try to track my dream blogs with label tags found on the right of the page --->

Dreams

I dream about everyone. If you wondered, does she dream about me? Yes. I do. Even you. Sometimes I dream of you more than I want to. And I dreamt of you last night. We were fighting and yelling at each other; all the things we always wanted to say came out. And it hurt. I didn't feel any better. So I came to you to apologize- and you were crying. We hugged, and it was one of those hugs that just felt right. I was happy then. We started talking about how good it used to be when we were friends. And you had that beautiful smile, like you do. Then, you told me about your life and everything we missed. Only from my dream everything went mute and I couldn't hear you. I said "I miss you" and that you should stay with my family for a while, but you looked at me in a way that I knew that would never happen. And I knew we'd go back to hating each other. Even if it's not hate that we feel. I woke up to lily playing- she looks like you. A constant reminder, sometimes it makes me smile. Maybe I should just remember the good but it's dreams like these were I feel confused and dont know what to do... so i blog

words

i hate when i types these words and what I say doesn't really reflect my feelings. Maybe it is exactly what i'm thinking but what i'm thinking never is to par with what I feel.
Hurt isn't hurtful enough, or it's too much. H U R T. and my love isn't recognized in words L O V E. But I would only hope that those who I write about know already. I dont H A T E anyone, I dont hold any grudges and I still keep them with me in my thoughts. Except for d, he can eat shit. HA HA HA Just kidding. I don't care what he eats. ;)

So the story goes..

Ring ring
I was talking on the phone already, actually, to the guy who said he was my boyfriend but lacked exclusivity with me,when the other line rang. *hold on *ok *its ryan on the other line, I have to go- it's over D (click). A few seconds with Ryan telling me how he really felt about me and I was hooked. That's all it took. His exact words were "Jolene, will you go around with me?" and with a HUGE smile on my face I asked him what did he mean to which his reply was "Will you be my girlfriend?" and I felt relief as I said, "of course I will, silly". Now we had already planned to hang out that weekend where he said through a letter that he wanted to talk about something but later he said he just couldn't wait, he was ready to steal me away from my unhappiness and be his. That was six years ago-- April 22, 2004. I was 17 yrs old and he was 15 years old.
I sometimes ask ryan "Now who finds the love of their life at fifteen yrs old?" and he says "I do".
Three years later, Janary 13th, 2007- we got married. On October 14, 2008 our daughter Lily was born.I really feel that my life changed with that phone call. And now, I am so happy to be a wife and a mother. And this, this is my blog. And my share of cheesy stories. But it's real and it's mine.

In Today

In current news, we are going to San Antonio this weekend. yay. we were just visiting last month but looks like a great opportunity to see everyone before the summer ends. Also we are celebrating my husband's 22nd birthday. Finally. LOL Ryan is 21 right now and I am 23. Makes me look way too old for him but after his bday it will seem right. for a half year.
Lily was kind of sick this week but she's good now. We think it may have been just allergies. I have it now. bah. But 5 hrs of driving can't hurt. can they? TBC (to be continued)

My story in this view--

I do not claim any accuracy in any of the stories presented here as my memories are quite often blurred, and even when I do remember= i don't because what came first the chicken or the egg? well, i am the rooster u see and it doesn't matter. Also I dont apologize for the way i write. I am not a gramer frek (ha ha);,?- and lots o times i make things up myself... because i can. criticism is welcome of course, but compliments more so. enjoy
DEEPLY NOW EDITED

The part of my story is called "chance missed"
We begin my sophomore year in high school. The events before this are just a completely different story not relevant to the point in this lens.

The first time I saw Ryan he was a freshman in high school- he would wait at TJHS (my school) until the magnet bus would pick him up and transport him and all the other magneteers to his HS across town. And I remember I was sitting in the cafeteria- it was very early like 7AM and I'm looking out the door staring...at him, my future husband. (Of course then I had no idea he'd be the one) He was very pale and skinny wearing a TOOL hoodie. I'm staring at him and thinking who is this guy? He was so different from the others. I didn't say anything to him, I just let the moment flee... my chance missed.
I'd see him again- but never really thinking twice about it as he continued to walk the halls of my school, then taking the bus to his own.  Years would pass before we'd actually SPEAK to each other.


One day While waiting for a friend of mine He was sitting out back by the softball field and I said "where's your sister" he told me she was dropped off at the front of the school. Instead of walking away to find her. I stayed with him and waited for the bus. I think I gave him a bag of candy I had made for him (it was around Halloween time).  I kept thinking to myself, I wish he'd come sit closer to me. (we were just sitting on the grass) and staring at the time.


another year would pass before he'd make a move..

First Blog

Something about me-- about this

My first blog, and why? Why blog? What could I possibly gain from blogging my life? I suppose it's the same reason why I've written in a journal for ten years... to vent. Sometimes I write because I'm frustrated with life or the things happening to me and I am not the type of person to call a friend or family member and yell out my frustrations. Instead I write. Even things that I dare not say to my spouse because I know there are things better left unsaid, instead- I write. But then, I write to share the great moments of my life and by writing them I am able to relive them if even just for an extra moment.
As a mother DAY ONE I started writing about my journey of pregnancy. Things that I could write and share with my daughter one day.. so that she could look back at the moments that lead to her arrival.
And now, I suppose I write about the life I live as a stay at home mom. But why limit myself to the time I'm currently in? I think I have an opportunity to write about my life from any moment in any time and reminisce. Perhaps try and figure out why or how my life has lead me to this moment in time.

happy readings.